Experiencing Grief

When you lose someone you are close to; I thought I was done; it must come in waves…

I chose to stay home today, I have been so busy for the past two weeks that my home life and my house and my body are suffering. I needed a break and my head was screaming for it this morning.

After I took the kids to school, I figured the first thing I would do was go BACK to bed to get rid of my headache and see if some additional rest would help me.

I had this dream where I was driving past my friend Tim’s business and spotted him and the old crew of guys outside. So, as would be my typical behavior I drove in for a visit. Tim and I sat and chatted and laughed but underlying his laughter I could see a sadness…in my dream…he let me know that he was sad over the loss of his family. In my dream HE had lost his kids and ex-wife in an accident and was heartbroken over it.

BACK IN THE REAL WORLD…(Just a few minutes ago) I woke up and my natural instinct has always been that after I dream about a friend I need to call or visit them. So, I woke up thinking I need to call or go see how Tim is doing. For a moment I had forgotten that he was dead… and then the grief hit me. In a way, it is like finding out all over again.

I really miss him. It has been 3 months, 18 days, and roughly 8 hours since I got the call.

I really miss him.

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