Yesterday was kind of rough for me. For my husband. My family. I spent a good deal of time regretting my choice to wear mascara that morning. Some people will find this silly, and I understand that. Others of you will completely get it, and I appreciate that as well.

Our Scarlet, may not be with us much longer.

So dramatic right?

Whatever, I am venting. And sharing pictures of x-rays …which you can compare to here.

So, to rewind…read the above post link.

Now that you are up to speed…Scarlet typically favors that leg in the winter. Well, winter is pretty much over and the past few weeks she has still been favoring it and then this past week it has shown some pronounced swelling. Tuesday she started panting. So Dave and I decided it was time to make a call. Wednesday morning she started drooling so I made the appointment for that same morning. The panting and drooling…those combined (without any activity prior to them) are her “I’m in pain” signals. Dogs can’t talk, so you learn their queues right? Just me?

I did not want to hear what we were fearing. That all of those medical implants in her leg had failed. That surgery was required again – In Ft. Wayne – because we can’t afford it this time. Dave and I were pretty stressed about it. We love that darn dog. I once referred to the way she worships and loves us as the prime example of how God wants us to worship and love Him.

Anyway…the appointment was inconclusive without x-rays so I had to leave her with the vet for the day. During the torture (waiting 4+ hours to find out the results) Dave and I were talking about how we were actually praying for God to heal our dog. Never did that before. We laughed because it felt silly and like the right thing to do all at the same time.

Moving along, this is what they found (click to enlarge):

I know it makes no sense unless you were there for the explanation but that stuff that looks like it is exploding out from the bone is likely Osteosarcoma. (I wish I had not read what I just linked that too…it makes it seem like I have her for even less time than the 6 months to a year the vet projected!) We were given treatment options that would have to include amputation, and chemo in order to be successful. She is 8 1/2 years old. The amputation alone is beyond our budget. (Heck, yesterday’s vet visit wasn’t in the budget.) When she was 2 years old, the cost was a different story.

In the unlikely chance that we are looking at a bone infection rather than bone cancer, we were sent home with antibiotics and pain meds and raves from the people at the vet’s office about how good of a girl she is. I already knew that. Everyone who has met her knows that.

So, in the following weeks/months I will either be celebrating a miracle or grieving a loss but never regretting having her as part of family.

an exerpt:

So, how does any of this explanation of who Jesus is and what he’s doing connect with heaven, hell, and the fate of every single person who has ever lived?

First, we aren’t surprised when people stumble upon this mystery, whenever and however that happens. We aren’t offended when they don’t use the exact language we use, and we aren’t surprised when their encounters profoundly affect them, even if they happen way outside the walls of our particular Jesus’s gathering.

People come to Jesus in all sorts of ways.

Sometimes people bump into Jesus,
they trip on the the mystery,
they stumble past the word,
they drink from the rock,
without knowing what or who it was.
This happened in the Exodus,
and it happens today.
The last thing we should do is discourage or disregard an honest,
authentic encounter with the living Christ. He is the rock, and there is
water for the thirsty there, wherever there is.

We are not threatened by this,
surprised by this,
or offended by this.

Sometimes people use his name;
other times they don’t.

Some people have so much baggage with regard to the name “Jesus” that when they encounter the mystery present in all of creation –
grace, peace, love, acceptance, healing, forgiveness – the last thing
they are inclined to name it is “Jesus”

Second,

Love Wins by Rob Bell