I subscribe to a blog called “Makes Me Think” – sometimes I wonder if people are just making stuff up but it is an interesting and sometimes heartwarming, sometimes heart-wrenching but quick read. This was on there today and it bothered me.
” Today, when I told them the truth, my parents stopped loving me for being me.” ~ by lost
The comments section just did not seem the place to respond to this but I am betting that many kids have felt this way and I simply wanted to respond as a parent. So here it goes:
I am so sorry you feel that way. I can only imagine your pain. As a parent, I would like to give a possible explanation of what you may have perceived as an end to your parents love. It could simply be that they are mourning a loss. You said that “when I told them the truth” which means that until that moment they had been experiencing something that was not true. Maybe, an image of their child that was false? So, in that moment of truth…they experienced a loss. They need some time to grieve that loss. When you exposed your truth, you likely were seeking acceptance. I ask you to give them time. Acceptance does not mean that they have to understand, agree with or celebrate your truth. It means that it is not their responsibility to decide upon it. Now they may need some time to get there and are now trying to sort through what the “truth” is. You did not decide overnight to expose your truth, you likely took time to decide. Allow them THEIR time to absorb it. I would like to share with you something that I have had to say to my own child when I have reacted poorly to something:
“Just remember that I am human too, and I mess up. I react to my emotions. My reactions do not determine your value and worth nor are they a measurement for my love for you.”
3 thoughts on “Makes Me Think”
Interesting post mom. Overall some parents aren’t as understanding I suppose, about many different situations. For instance, a friend of mine got thrown out of her house and her parents flat out disowned her. Sometimes it’s not “time” needed. Just a thought.
Thanks, I appreciate you thoughts….and you.
Even if the parents aren’t eventually accepting, still wise words that demonstrate offering them what you are hoping to receive.