Puddles-O-Poo On the Day Back to School

So today was expected to be a bit crazy in my house. The first day back to school we usually scramble. The kids and I are both used to sleeping in and so getting up at 5:45 am is always a shock to the system this time of year. HOWEVER, this year…it went very smooth. We were prepared, no one was grumpy all went well. Unfortunately, I think that our doberman, Scarlet, was feeling the anxiety for us.

I was awakened at 2:47 am by (of all things) a peculiar SMELL. My husband said that he had gotten up a short time prior and the dog had an accident and he was hoping it could wait to be cleaned up until morning. (OK, we have been through this before, he knows better…he REALLY likes his sleep) So, we both get up and as I round the foot of the bed, I step in something squishy. I demand he turn on the light and I look down and see a puddle/pile of dog vomit. Yum! So, as I am waiting for my husband to bring me something to clean off my foot I watch as my pathetic dog walks out of our room, into the living room and pukes on the floor. So, I hobble toward the hallway – only to see A LOT more puddles.

It ain’t dog vomit in that thar hallway.

Apparently the mess has multiplied since my husband originally was made aware of it. So, I rinse my foot, and grab supplies. Dave gets the hallway of poo, and I get puke duty. So, I clean what I can off the carpet in the bedroom – less than happy with the icky smell and stain left behind and I move on to the living room, and just as I am finishing with that pile I look over on the area rug and I see ANOTHER Puddle-O-Vomit.

Did I mention that this is at 2:47 AM?

So, I grab the rug and drag it down the part of the hallway that my hero hubby has already rid of Puddles-O-Poo and go back to clean the puddle left UNDER the rug…yes, boys and girls-it had seeped through. Once done, hubby takes the plastic bags filled with toxic waste out to the garbage and heaves the rug out the back door! (I will hose it down later)

I find a magical cure for my ailing bedroom carpet and apply it, grab the Oust spray and clean the air and hero hubby and I return to bed.

I can’t sleep. I have a freaking song in my head, and when I share this with my husband he states he has the same problem. Except mine is One Week by the Barenaked Ladies and his is Pink by Aerosmith. So I decide to read the NIV version of Proverbs 12 and finally get to sleep about 4 am (ish).

Back up at 5:45, just enough time for hero hubby to throw on clothes and be to work at 6am…and there, in the hallway is another Puddle-O-Poo. So, since my magical cure for the bedroom carpet seems to be working well, I figured I would try it out on a fresh Puddle. So, I sprinkle said magical cure all over this mess and go to wake my sleeping children.

As I am on my hands and knees I start to remember a speaker from the Leadership Summit, Carly Fiorina, stating “There is a gift in everything if only we will see it” and I think to myself “where is the gift in THIS Carly? Huh? Where is the gift in THIS?”

Finally I get to shower and I realize darn it, she is right. My gift is that I have found a great magical cure for cleaning vomit and poo, and I can share it with everyone. So, here is your flippin‘ gift:

You too can make quick clean up of vomit and poo….
With Arm & Hammer Baking soda. (or whatever brand you purchase)

Seriously, I COVERED the last pile of poo with baking soda and it killed most of the smell and turned the runny mess into something more “normal” and easier to handle. As for the vomit, same thing…trust me, I usually want to heave myself when faced with that and this does seem to make the smell diminish almost completely and again, a consistency easier to deal with. The trick is to COMPLETELY cover the mess, no sprinkling.

So, there ya have it. The first morning back to school in a nutshell.

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