Only in my dreams

I dreamt of my friend Tim last night; at least this time when I awoke I remembered he is dead.

The anniversary of his death is coming up. Don’t know why I refer to it as an “anniversary” – it is not as if it is something I am celebrating. He has been on my mind lately more than normal. Probably because the weather turned autumn-esque for a little while and my internal clock knew what I was experiencing last autumn.

My own personal haunting…only in my dreams.

I feel like God truly has answered my prayers when it comes to that. I always have dreams about my friends that I don’t get to see on a regular basis, it is what reminds me to stay in touch with them. When Tim died I PRAYED HARD to not have dreams about him. Then, because I missed him I remember sort of telling God that I take it back. That was when I had the last dream, where when I woke up I had forgotten he was dead and reached for the phone to call him.

God has been good. I have not dreamed of Tim since then, until now. I am actually kind of grateful for it. You see, you would think that having shared a nine year friendship with someone that over the course of time you would have some EVIDENCE of it.

Nope, not me.

I live in the moment.
I don’t take pictures or video or things like that.
I have nothing but memories….
…………………………..…..sometimes though I wish I had a video
…………………………………………………..…..just to hear him laugh.

So God gave me dreams.
Not quite the same, but hey…He’s trying.

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