My Best Friend

You hear the term all your life. “My Best Friend”

Little girls compete for the title (as if there is crown and sash) to be someone’s best friend.

Even big girls play the game….that can be ugly. (I don’t know if I notice it with boys or men.)

Some time ago I dropped the word “best” from my vocabulary when referring to my friends and I thought I would share about that. So, here it is. The reason for not having a BEST friend label:

It diminishes the value of your other friends.

So, with that being said, I am going to reinstate it into my vocabulary. The big announcement you have all been waiting for:

Who is my Best Friend?

drum roll please……

A friend for 15 years. Been through the good, the bad, the ugly. Shared or knows of my best moments, shared or knows of my worst moments. Has forgiven me for many things. Has loved me through it all. Laughed AT me through most of it. Doesn’t always understand me but always accepts me.

None other than:

David! My husband!

I feel good giving him that title. He deserves it. It does not diminish the value of my other friends. He won’t flaunt it or rub it in the faces of my other friends. He will wear it under his clothes like a secret identity. My own personal Superman (he is Super!), Batman (He would get a bat out of my hair if need be), Spiderman (he kills spiders for me on a regular basis)….Myman (you get the picture).

Now believe me, he had some tough competition. I am only listing here those people who were placed in my life without any blood or work connections. (Not that those people are not friends, but those relationships were easier to create.) These are the ones that I want to honor because I don’t think I let them know often enough how much they mean to me. Let me start in CHRONOLOGICAL order:

Lori – Met in 9th grade. Heart of gold, has actually been around LONGER than Dave. Has also shared a bed with me (don’t go there!). She was my only friend when I needed one, she hated me when we first met. She let me be me. She stuck. She laughed at my bike riding. She was there when I tried to be a rebel. She taught me that I could look cute. She brought out the adventurer in me. She remembers…sometimes too much. She may not know it all, but is willing to try most. Will do anything for anyone in need. Cracks me up. Is a survivor through and through. One tough cookie with a soft gooey center.

Paula – Met after I left high school…She too has a longer lifespan than Dave on the friends list. (she too has shared a bed with me….it’s a girl thing) She has been my friend, my roomy, my party gal, my other half (she actually dropped down on one knee in front of Azar’s and proposed to me once – ring and all – okay, it was a plastic “Big Boy” ring but it still counts…okay we were drunk and tired…so maybe not). She held my hair when I threw up from overdrinking. She taught me how to paint the town whatever color I wanted. She was my dance partner. My fellow “Illusionette” my fellow “Dream Weaver”. She helped me remain independent (I know that seems contradictive), and helped me raise my oldest child while I was still single. She is a woman who knows who she is and is not afraid of life. She doesn’t compromise who she is for what society says she should be. She can hold her own with a group of sailors but she is ALL WOMAN! She actually had alot to do with how I started dating my husband. She is always going to be there for me.

Jen – Met 7 or 8 years ago (time is foggy when you get older) She is actually an amazing addition. I met her through an old boyfriend who I remained good friends with. (They are now married). She showed me where my passions are. She raised my awareness of my abilities. She let me find out how much I love the things I love through experiencing them with her. She was my guinea pig. She is smart and fun and loving and thoughtful and kind. She is passionate. Did I mention PASSIONATE…about her husband, her kids, her life…She tries to give her all…maybe to a fault but she is learning. She is someone who I feel comfortable with in the matters of Faith. She shares openly. She loves immensly. She is another heart of gold…but she prefers platinum. Will do everything she can if asked. She recently helped me realize the disservice I do to my friends when I try to protect them from the bad things in my life by not allowing them to be there for me. Shame on me. She is my eye opener. I think I will call her VISINE.

I would also like to make special mention of a couple of interesting friendships:

Cher – I have not seen her since I left Florida in 1984. We lost touch when I was in high school but recently…this past January…I googled her (had tried several times over the past few years with no luck) and found a live email. So I took a chance in the hopes it was her and the opening line to her response was “Get out!”. So, we have spent alot of emails sharing life and it still clicks. It seems like – how did she put it – our friendship was just on pause. This connection means so much to me. I can not even put it’s value into words. I like what she is doing with her life. I feel like having this communication with her completes a circle. I am enjoying getting to know the adult she has become. In her minds eye I am still 13 years old and that is how I remember her as well. (I think it is neat to be locked in someone’s memory without the wrinkles, stretchmarks, or extra baggage)

Tracey – Another long distance friend. I have not seen her since she was in my wedding in 1995. We met when I lived in New Jersey (late 80’s) and it was like looking at me in a tiny little Italian girl’s body. She was my constant friend, one of the family from the second we met. We did some fun stuff together, and some stupid stuff together and if she still wore braces she would still be picking the bugs out of them to proove it! We may not talk much but I know that I can pick up the phone and we can pick up right where we left off without any of the “why haven’t you called me in X amount of time?” crap that some people lay on you. She is THERE. I am THERE for her. We know that about each other and are good with that.

So to all my friends. Thank you. Words can not express what you mean to me. You are all THE BEST. Each of you are so different from one another. (I find it fascinating that I have never had all of you in the same room together….would the building survive that much awesomeness in one space?!?!?) One of these days I would love to do a brunch to celebrate you all and the place that you have in my heart. Break out your calendars!

Love to my sisters!

Extra love to my Best Friend.

I am so blessed.

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